Life is hard. Sometimes.
And sometimes it is downright nasty and very, very challenging. Not every day is going to be a doused in sunshine, lollipops and freaking feel good chakra popping moments of joy. And this fake happy, life hacking culture, the one shoved down our throats by every post that claims to be able to improve your life in 10 easy steps? It is, quite frankly, giving me the shits.
It is a lie and it is setting us up for just more moments of shame & self-loathing.
Personally, life has kicked me hard at some points. Points where I thought maybe I would not get back up again, points where I thought I had been abandoned by “god”, points where I ceased to believe “god” even existed. And let me tell you 3 things I learnt:
- There was NO magic life hack to pull me out of those places
- Those places usually taught me just how magnificent I can be, showed me new depths of my soul & made me grow in leaps and bounds – albeit kicking and screaming.
- Those points took hard work, practice & perseverance to get through. And they were worth living. Every single moment of them. Especially the ones I didn’t really want to live through.
As the heavens opened today, Ella was singing that old song… “Into each life some rain must fall”.
There is an queasy untruth in the mega-hype of being able to have the perfect life – forever sunshine, without any rain- if you just eat the right food, strike the right yoga pose, have the right friends, balance your chakras enough, you can probably Namaste your way out of any suffering.
The shock, the disappointment, the downright shame we go through when our life has a little rain, is only exacerbated by the bullshit fed to us via the how-to, life hacking gurus.
Why did this happen to me? I thought I did all the right things. Did I not hold my downward dog long enough? Maybe I should have meditated twice a day instead of only once? Maybe it was the non-organic lettuce? Is this my karma? More than half our energy is spent trying to work out what is wrong with us, instead of sitting inside of the “wrong” thing that is happening.
And believe me, sitting in that place? It’s hard.
I am a “fix it“ kind of girl. If it feels bad, my first instinct is to make it better, make it go away. I became a healer for goodness sake – I thought my job was to make it better for everyone. But sometimes, that is not what is meant to happen. Because life – it is a spectrum, a full range of experiences, flavours, emotions. Life is messy, it is wild & unpredictable. And despite the 8, 10 or 12 steps you choose, life is going to trip you up sometime and you are going to spend some time flat on your ass.
That is a normal life.
That is a healthy life.
That is an ordinary life.
And so I ask you – are you brave enough to live an ordinary life?
Can you find the beauty in that? Can you resist the temptation to hack your way out of something so simple and beautiful? Can you be strong & present enough to be fully inside an ordinary, sometimes difficult, but always amazing, life?
The longer I work with incredible, ordinary, everyday people, the more I am convinced that this is our only work – the reason we are here. To be in love, and to live, our entire life. And just like any other love affair, we have to love the parts that fart & snore and make us crazy, as much as we love the parts that cook us dinner and bring us flowers.
And guess what?
There is no hack, no how-to, no magic bullet & absolutely no short-cut to the rewards of that experience.