Nice.

It really is one of those words that polarise people. You can use it well, or it makes your skin crawl. But, for me, it is one of the most undervalued relationship skills we have.

I see so many couples who all claim to want:

A great sex life

Epic intimacy

Honesty

Security

Adventure…

the list goes on.

 

And yet they have not even mastered the most fundamental skill of all.

Being kind.

Treating each other with decency, with manners.

Showing one another respect.

 

Just being fucking nice.

 

And when you spend enough time with people, you can begin to realise a sad truth.

 

We are not very good at being nice to ourselves.

Our self talk is often critical, oftentimes bordering on cruel.

Our self care is neglected.

Our self love is shamed, hidden and unattended.

 

It is from this place we try to have a “good” relationship with another person.

And then we wonder what has gone wrong…

 

So, I ask you…

What does it mean to be nice?

How would it feel to soften your gaze, shift your view, drop your judgements and just be kind?

What would happen if you just concentrated on being nice?

With your words, with your actions, with your thoughts and your self talk.

To your partner.

To your kids.

To yourself.